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The New Speak Dictionary of Progressive Slang

This compilation honors Red Bug, formerly of The Chigger.Net.   It recognizes the appearance of new words in the English language and captures them and their meanings in this timeless soft-copy media. If you would like to contribute to this collection, please e-mail your contribution to RGM@starving-writers.com - Attention Red Bug!

 
This is where to party
  1/27/11
 
NEW:  Spin Vaccine for Conservatives
 
 
New Speak Dictionary of Progressive Slang
by Red Bug
This is a growing work. If you would like to contribute, email us at
RGM@starving-writers.com

Bail-out
1. A person in a boat finds that the boat is sinking, i.e., filling with water. So, with a bucket they begin dipping water out of the bottom of the boat so that the boat won’t sink. When all the water is gone, they break a hole in the bottom of the boat, so they can get at the waterr more easily and continue dipping water out of the boat. The boat continues to sink, so they break a bigger hole in the bottom of the boat so they can dip the water faster. The boat continues to sink, now, at a faster rate. The person with the bucket is you and me. The person making the decision about the solution to the problem of the boat’s sinking is a Progressive.
2. A huge bank lends its depositors’ money. The borrowers can’t pay it back. The depositors demand a return of their money. The government goes to the depositors and with a gun to their heads, takes more of their money and gives 20% of it to the bank,  keeping back 80% for administration costs. The bank then gives the money to the depositors, and the bank is bailed out.  What the government doesn't use for administrative costs is used to start new social programs.  To continue the program next year, they will raise taxes.

Bigot
1. Any person who is not a Negro or an Hispanic.
2. Any person who thinks a Non-Negro can do as good a job as a Negro or Hispanic and should have an equal opportunity at employment or education.
3. Any one who is a member of the Republican Party.

Birther
1. Someone who has absolutely no credibility as a result of their belief that all political candidates should be thoroughly vetted instead of just non-Progressives.

2.  Anyone who does not know  where Barack Obama was actually born, like Governor Neil  Abercrombie.

3. Anybody who thinks Sandy Paul is a loopy space alien or a Trotskyite implant.

Bureaucrat
1. (1) A person who cuts red tape sideways. -- J. McCabe
2. (2) A politician who has tenure. (Unknown)
3. One of a host of pygmies, together operating a gigantic machine (Honore Balzac)
4. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, resort to sales. Those who sell poorly go into bureaucracy. Those who fail at bureaucracy run for political office. Some are elected. The rest sleep under bridges.

Dupe
1. A Potemkin Village Liberal:
"Potemkin Village" has also been used to describe the attempts of the Soviet government to fool foreign visitors. The government would take such visitors, who were often already sympathetic to socialism or communism, to select villages, factories, schools, stores, or neighborhoods and present them as if they were typical, rather than exceptional. Given the strict limitations on the movement of foreigners in the USSR, it was often impossible for these visitors to see any other examples.[6] A recent BBC series reported that in 1952 Doris Lessing, a British writer who has since won the Nobel Prize for Literature, was part of a delegation visiting the Soviet Union. Her memories of the trip are clear and unforgiving: “I was taken around and shown things as a ‘useful idiot’... that’s what my role was. I can’t understand why I was so gullible.” The Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw and American journalist Walter Duranty also visited the Soviet Union. They mingled with political leaders, were escorted into the countryside by Stalin’s secret police, and returned home to speak and write of ‘a land of hope’ with ‘evils retreating before the spread of communism’. However as stories mounted of mass murder and starvation in parts of Russia and Ukraine, reporters such as Gareth Jones and Malcolm Muggeridge investigated and reported on ‘the creation of one enormous Belsen’. Duranty responded with an article in the New York Times headed ‘Story of the famine is bunk’, and got an exclusive interview with Stalin. Soon after, Jones was killed under suspicious circumstances and Muggeridge’s career nose-dived. Duranty was awarded a Pulitzer.  (The article (above) is excerpted from wikipedia.)
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potemkin_village
3. Liberals who have been seduced by the inviting Utopian image of a FAIR society entailing “social justice.” (see social justice)

Gay
1. This word came into popular usage in the 1960’s because homosexual people wanted something to replace the formerly popular expressions like Faggot, Queer, Homo, Poo-Pusher, Bull-Dyke, Lesbian, Butch and a host of others, including perverts, preverts, undesirables, shadow dwellers, vagitarians, Lesbyterians. There are many more.
2. The word “gay” was introduced in the 1960’s by Progressives in their bid to give “Social Justice” to the various sexual-persuasion-minorities. A sub-issue promoted by the Progressives by the use of this word is to promote immorality to contribute to the downfall of traditional morality, the work ethic, the family group etc. as per outlined in the Communist Manifesto.

Gun Control
1. Only people in government should be permitted to defend themselves.
2. Anyone who wants to be able to defend him or herself is dangerous and should be prevented from being able to do so, unless they are in government or a prominent television Lesbian.

Homophobe
1. Anyone who is not a homosexual or a bisexual or a tri-sexual or a quadra-sexual or a cross dresser or a woman trapped in man’s body or a man trapped in a woman’s body or a rat trapped in the body of a flea – things like that.
2. Anyone who knows what tea-bagging is and doesn’t like the idea of doing it.
3. Anyone who is disgusted by people like Rosie O’Donnell or Barnie Franks as a result of their life styles and/or their political chicanery.

.
Homo-Probe
1. Deviant spelling of homophobe, sometimes alluding to a tool of that trade.

Journalism
1. A trade adopted by professional writers who have difficulty selling their wares. It entails the wordy and sensational support of political candidates and their causes by any means necessary to pull it off. Comrade Dan Rather can tell you that truth is irrelevant. The only thing that is relevant is victory for the coming revolution.
2. Site: Katie Couric’s three day interview with Sarah Palin and the two minutes of cherry picked pieces aimed at discrediting Palin. She had such difficulty finding anything, that she invented something she could use to insult Palin in front of the cameras, “What newspapers do you read?”
3. Journalism is a science of observing and studying the side of the coin that the journalist wants to support and ignoring or subverting information that conflicts or contradicts that data.  This used to be called editorializing, but today, as can be verified by watching CBS news or any of the other mainstream media, this is no longer the case.

Liberal
1. A conservative that has been snubbed by reality. (unknown)
2. A man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. -- Robert Frost

Mis-spoke (Miss-Spoke) (Mispoke) (Miss Poke)
1. You accidentally told the truth and discovered, if you don’t take it back immediately, your family is in grave danger.
2. You told the truth in clear conscience and discovered you liabled someone who is going to kill you if you don’t cover it up, or take it back effectively.
3. If you mispoke about Barack Obama, stay off of airplanes.
4. Site: Mike Evans and his recent interaction with Governor Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii.
5. Evans is now back-peddling at frantic speed.  I wonder who got to him

Philanthropist
(1) A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket. -- (The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce)

Progressive
1. This is the name that was substituted for “Communist” in the 1950’s or earlier so that the Communist movement could progress without being impeded by the demeaning character, reputation and history of its actual name.
2. “Progressive” and “Liberal” can be used interchangeably in some, but not all contexts.
3. It’s fair to believe that all Progressives are Communists, but not all Liberals are Progressives.

Racist
1. Anyone who is not a Negro or an Hispanic.
2. Anyone who disagrees with a political agenda proposed by a Negro or an Hispanic.
3. Anyone who votes Republican or disagrees with Sandy Paul.

Sex
1. God's biggest joke on human beings. -- Bette Davis

Social Justice
1. This concept alludes to redistribution of wealth by forcing successful people at gun-point to give up their money. Twenty percent of that money is then distributed to people are not successful for any reason. Eighty percent of the money is used for administrative costs, thus creating high paying JOBS for otherwise unsuccessful people.
2. Compensation for the fact that unequal labor and creativity result in unequal income. Achievers, under this justification, have their rewards reduced to an amount equal to the failure levels of others. The balance is used for administrative costs, thus creating high paying jobs for otherwise unsuccessful people.
3. Carried to extremes, in sports – everybody wins and gets a prize. In education, everyone passes and no one has better grades than anyone else. In war – everybody surrenders. In business – there is no business, it’s all government operated i.e., by people who were unsuccessful at business, teaching and sales.

Tea Party
1. Loosely organized Grass Roots movement of Conservative Americans. Their general platform is Lower Taxes. Reduce the size and especially spending of government. Establish government accountability.  To a lesser extent, they support the “Flat Tax,” thorough vetting of all political candidates including Progressive candidates (Obama, Kerry, and of course, Sandy Paul, a member of the lunatic fringe). 
2. Opponents of the Tea Party want higher taxes, larger government, more spending. They support a heavy Progressive Income Tax and reduction of property rights, as set forth in the Communist Manifesto. They are also against vetting Progressive Political candidates, i.e., Obama, Kerry, et al. “We’ll have to pass it, to find out what’s in it (or elect them to find out what they're going to do to us).” (Pelosi re: health care bill)  Opponents to the Tea Party movement are generally characterized by their frantic inventions against Tea Partiers and desperate fabrications. When all else fails, they call Tea Partiers, "Birthers," thinking this negates the need and arguments in favor of lower taxes, smaller government and accountability in government.
Zeal
1. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. ( In older men it is generally regarded as dementia.)
(The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce).

 
     
     
 

Spin Vaccine for Conservatives

The way one says a thing profoundly colors the way others hear it. President Clinton’s people popularized the word, “Spin,” alluding to this truism. Spin really isn’t a new thing. As long as there has been language, there has been ”Spin.” It really came into its own, though, in the early part of the 1900’s as a tool of the Communist Party. Roger Baldwin, the famous, communist, founder of the American Civil Liberties Union illustrated this best when he said Communists should stop using the word “Communism,” and instead use the words “Liberal,” and “Progressive.” He said “communism” has had too much bad press. “Capitalism,” on the other hand has its origin credited in error to Karl Marx who loudly defamed the expression giving it the negative color that it bears today. According to Gavin Kennedy -- (Origins of the Word Capitalism), the term originated with Adam Smith in 1776 and was later adopted by Marx. The next evolution of the word, “spin,” will probaby apply to “Whirling Dervishes” like John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi and Barnie Franks.

“Capitalists” would do well to follow the shining example of the Communist Party’s skill at Spin. The term, “Capitalist,” itself should be avoided and shunned in favor of the ideas it truly represents, such as “Free Enterprise.” A “Capitalist” is really a “Job Provider.” “Free Enterprise,” instead of Capitalism and “Job Provider” instead of “Capitalist,” say exactly the same things with a positive instead of negative spin.

The concept of “Corporate Income Tax” follows the same Spin tactics as using the word “Liberal” instead of “Communist” as Roger Baldwin suggested. Corporations never pay income or any other taxes. Taxes imposed on such entities are always passed on to the consumer through price increases and adjustments. The idea that corporations pay too little or too much income tax is laughable and ludicrous. Any Job Provider knows that when his taxes are increased, he has to raise the prices of his products or services in order to pay the increased tax. Corporate Income taxes, property taxes, sales taxes, licensing taxes, permit fees and so following, are always paid for by the consumer – you and me. “Corporate Tax” is just another “Spin” expression imposed on the general public to conceal another hidden tax heaped on the backs of the public under a politician’s lie.

“Spin” is alive and well in the English Language and in the United States. The Occupy movement was in my town this past weekend. Professionally constructed signs held aloft by rag-tag, tattooed, body pierced ne’er-do-wells far outclassed their bearers in quality and cleanness. It made me wonder who paid for the signs. Was it the CPUSA, maybe? And, I wondered who paid the demonstrators and what coin they were willing to accept.

Their spin was staggering. “Economic Justice,” (referring to taking money you and I earn and giving it to others who earned nothing) in huge, red letters on a white background almost achieved the intended cognitive dissonance in my mind but was stopped by the thought, “Economic Justice” is when I actually get to keep what I earn. “Stop Corporate Greed” triggered more negative images of Job Providers exercising their freedom of enterprise motivated by the possibility of a greater chance for profit than risk of loss. The Free Enterprise Job Providers are the heroes of our time who risk their time, effort and money, providing me with a job in the hopes of a successful enterprise in a failing Communist (Liberal/Progressive [Let’s call a spade a spade?] ) Economy.

Here is a call for fighting fire with fire. Let’s stop using the euphemisms dumped on us by the Communist Party USA and the ACLU. A person who wants government control and power over everything is a Communist. “Liberal” and “Progressive,” are “sneak speaks.” They are such fundamental lies as to be accidentally over-looked. When one hears the word, “Liberal,” it sounds so freeing but so often with terms invented by Communists it means the exact opposite. Let’s skip overused expressions like Totalitarian and go to what it really means – “total control freaks.” The Anti-Freedom, Communist Party USA still exists and actively works behind the scenes doing things like paying demonstrators to stir the mud and flash misleading messages like “Stop Corporate Greed” and “Economic Justice.” Roger Baldwin’s organization, the American Civil Liberties Union, established to propagate Communism in the United States is still working its evil against Freedom of Enterprise, Freedom of Speech (There is no such thing as Hate Speech.) and Freedom of Religion (that is, non-Judeo-Christian religions.) The “Divide and Conquer “ Multiculturalists decry assimilation of immigrants into the American Culture and promote our separation by culture, language and custom. Such divisions weaken us even more than stealing from the successful the fruits of their labor and piling tax upon concealed tax on the backs of the public. But we can overcome. We can use Spin to make everything alright. We can use unsupported, undefined, vague expressions like “Hope and Change” against a free people who have become so complacent, lounging in their liberties that they can place a Communist in the White House without fear or concern. Barack! Not a Communist? If it quacks like a duck, walks like duck, smells like a duck, hey – it’s not a duck. It’s a Liberal.

Good luck with your Photo-Shopping, Ducky.

Robert G. Makin